3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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