How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
