it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
