Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
