There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
