I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
