You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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