I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
