I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the day after is always just damage control
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
