There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize