Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
