haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize