we're blogging at a bar
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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