The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
