Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize