I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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