I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
