Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize