We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
