I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
