IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
