wakey wakey hands off snakey
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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