You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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