if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
