Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
