i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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