she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
