Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize