the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
