that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
