Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am midnight drunk by noon
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize