Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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