You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
