Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
