I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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