It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
