So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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