11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
