Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
