Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
