I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
