This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
