Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
