you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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