You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
