me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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