Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
