I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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