Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
