I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
