so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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