Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
