this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
