I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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