I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
