so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
