Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
