I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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