I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
