Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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