OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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