Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
