His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
