my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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