Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I puked a lego.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
