My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
